Love: What Are You So Afraid Of?

The dreaded L word.

In today’s society it is common to guard our heart. Men “don’t want a relationship” and women take pride in NOT catching feelings. We don’t date to marry and in FACT, we don’t “date”. We hook up, but only long enough to get our fill. Then the minute someone catches feelings or asks to put a label on the relationship, the other party throws up their hands, repeats some trite rhetoric, and exits stage left claiming they don’t want to hurt you. What an empty existence.

I get it though. I had my experiences, loving someone that used me. Someone that put their hands on me, but because they “loved me” and I loved them, I stayed. I’ve loved someone only to grow bored with them and fall out of love. I loved someone so much I would have denounced all my beliefs just to keep them. You said that I have to believe the sky is pink to keep you, well MF THAT SKY IS PINK! I’ve loved beyond reason. 

Then once it’s over, we focus on all the bad things. We want to take back things we did and said because, in the end, they didn’t deserve it. Love caused us to experience excruciating pain, self doubt, and a lowered self esteem among other negative emotions. 

But what about all the good stuff? 

Remember when it was you and them against the world? For a time that person made you smile, just for the simple fact that they existed. They looked at you a certain way and your heart fluttered. When they touched you, it was electric. That person made you FEEL. For a moment in time you had an intimate human connection. You learned from them. They taught you about life, about yourself, and about love. Maybe it turned into what you DON’T want from life, yourself and love…either way you learned. 

I think we can all agree that sex with someone you love just hits different, literally and figuratively. There’s no one night stand or casual fling that can replace knowing someone’s body, trusting them enough to let go and venturing into new kinks whether with toys, position or role playing. When you love someone, sex is a spiritual experience. Also, regular morning sex. That part is pretty cool.

We live in an era where NOTHING lasts forever. If we all know this and accept it in every other area of our lives, why is love different? Why do we expect someone to commit to FOREVER when most marriages end in divorce? Why do we attach so much anger and hurt to something that is most likely going to happen? Everyone dies, does that mean we quit LIVING just to avoid a loss through death? Some might say that because they KNOW they will die eventually, they live MORE! How can we take this same outlook on love? I, for one, do not want to be on death’s door step and wish I had said those words, held someone in my arms and shared with them how much they made me smile. I’d hate to have someone’s life end before I had the courage to express (and accept) how special they are to me. 

I’m a different type. I love unconditionally and without expectations other than respecting my boundaries and treating me like someone of value. I give love even if its not returned in the way that I expect to receive it.  I’ll love someone enough to know that maybe they’d be happier with someone else, let them go, and cheer for their success. Do I set myself up for hurt? Sure. But a life without love is like food without spices, or art without color. It’s a story not worth reading. 

I challenge you to face your fears. Take a chance on someone. Get close, share moments and memories. Open yourself up to giving and receiving love. You never know when it might be your last chance to experience something so beautiful. Just do it.

Good Luck! -Callie Dee

Published by The Smitten Kitten with Callie Dee

The Smitten Kitten with Callie Dee is a blog and podcast about Love, Dating, Sex, Relationships and the Human Experience. Stay tuned for upcoming special guests on Facebook Live and Twitch.

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